Dog Parks

Why do I love dog parks? It's probably not for the reason you think. You are probably thinking that I can't wait to get there to see my dog (that I don't have) run around and frolic with all the other drooling, smelly dogs. As attractive as that sounds, it's not the reason.

My favorite part about dog parks is actually the people...the very creepy, strange people. Not only do they converse with their dogs as if they are humans, they make disgusting baby noises to attract other dogs. Come on, how does that not sound entertaining? "Did Rover make a poo poo?" Also, you know they are secretly whispering to their dogs which dogs they should play with. "Ew, Fido, don't play with that mutt over there, wouldn't your time be spent better with at least a half breed?!?"

I do enjoy the dog aspect of the dog park a little. I enjoy when they sniff each others' butts in a circle. I think it's the most efficient way to do it. Then all dogs (in the circle) can get to know another dog. I also like that it's extremely clique. It's like high school for dogs. The little ones with their sweaters and diamond studded collars all small dog yap at each other, while some the other dogs are loners; roaming the yard, marking anything that smells good.

Now to get a dog to be able to enjoy dog parks again. Until then, I'll just borrow this one...